I didn’t anticipate not being able to blog as often as I would like… I would say my lack of a portable laptop and my insane amounts of homework are contributing to the month absence. No one fret, writing is still the thing I love the most. College is eating away at my insides due to high stress levels. Classes like government and physics are treating me like a child and new friends, old friends, and people I hardly know are grabbing me by the hair and yanking me to the ground- metaphorically speaking. I’m home an hour early and I’m sitting in my newly redecorated bedroom drinking coffee and staring at the gray hues of the sky trying to settle my ragging head. I’m not sure if it’s the steroids I’m taking (to shrink the size of my tonsils) or the fact that I’m 17, but I’m incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. So. I thought I would write.
Let me tell you a story. It was a Tuesday. A stupid day if you ask me, right in between the start of the week and the middle of the week, it brings relief due to the passing of Monday yet anticipation for Friday. And on this day Aspen walked into the lunchroom, all bright eyed and beautiful. Her hair flew like a kite behind her when she walked and each stride signified fake confidence. Her couture backpack was a perk of her daddy’s money but the scars under her sleeve were a result of me. I broke her heart, but we never shared more than a few glances and simple hellos. How can this be you ask? How could I have hurt her so deeply without having a connection wither her. The answer is lust. Aspen lusted for a life she never tried to obtain. She wished for an ocean but she got trapped in the desert. The problem was that she had a crush on yours truly. A mere crush that ate away at her, but that was news to me. Another problem was she has an infatuation with Brown. Yes the college not the color. But her application resembled a blank word document. The third and final problem was that she had an urge for socialization. Try to guess what I’m going to say next. Ready? Well she secluded herself from the world. Aspen had the words on the tip of her tounge but she never pursued the act of talking. She lusted for the perfect life- the perfect guy, the perfect college, and the perfect activity. But, she never stepped out of her comfort zone. She never opened her mouth or left her room or took the jumps needed to succeed. Her life depended on her opening up and trying. I promise you, if she ever came up to me and asked me to walk her to class, you can bet I would have seized that opportunity. And brown would have loved to see a few more things listed and a little more passion put forth. I’m also positive girls would have loved to gossip about Pretty Little Liars and prom dresses with her. But it was too late. The cuts were made and her emotions blackened. Her actions directed the outcome of her life. I wish she could have kissed me instead of gifting me with a letter, that hugged the inside of an envelope, breaking down the atrocities of her life the day she wanted everything to stop.
Time duration- 13 minutes